Love Who You Are: Have Positive Self Esteem

by Morna Douglas

(Click here to listen to the audio version of this article)

Let’s face it: It’s important to love who you are--in other words, it is imperative that you have positive self esteem.  And we all know this. 

Yet, while there are many people who realize the importance of self esteem, there are still those who don’t think it important enough to live it. But before you can do so, you need to understand what self esteem is. So exactly what is self esteem?

Self esteem is valuing yourself and treating yourself as you wish others to treat you; and on the other hand, to treat yourself as well as you treat others. 

Often we treat others with great respect and yet we berate ourselves with negative statements--in our thoughts, aloud to ourselves, to others and even in our actions.  And yes, you can berate yourself in the things you do to yourself (e.g. abusing your body--physically, which could be in the form of bad eating habits and mentally, by looking at our bodies that may be less than perfect and making disparaging statements).

The first step, then, to loving who you are and building positive self esteem is the removal of all negative programming.  Yes, programming.  Although we think of the word 'programming' in relation to technology and computers, it can also be applied to our minds. So you must learn to program your mind with positive affirmations about yourself. Therefore, no more berating statements like “I’m not good enough", "I'm stupid", "I'm a fool", etc. 

 
 
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None of these statements will benefit you in any way. And when repeated often enough, you're actually programming your mind with negative thoughts about yourself. And worst of all, you begin to believe them. Consequently, your actions now become negative as you think of yourself in these disapproving terms.

Instead, use positive affirmations and program yourself for self love and success.  Come up with a mantra or quote that you can identify with--one that moves you and is suitable for your situation.  For example: I AM. And I like who I am. There is a treasure within me. And I will cherish it (or something similar). And in this journey toward discovering the treasure that is you, you'd be amazed at the golden nuggets you'll find along the way.

You could even make up your own mantra (as long as it's encouraging). Just make it believable. And believe it. Repeat daily.

"It makes no difference where you go, there you are. And it makes no difference what you have, there's always more to want. Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy because of what you have."              --Zig Ziglar

Your next step toward building self esteem is actualization.  Try this: Stand in front of the mirror and patiently look at your image. Think of at least three things about your body that you like--anything that you find pleasing or remarkable. No matter how unimportant you think that characteristic may be, find something positive. (Remember: no negative thinking).

Next on our building blocks of self esteem is personality.  While there are steps we can take to modify our bodies to fit in with society's skewed image of what a beautiful body should look like, when it comes to personality you are the architect, the painter.  You have a blank canvas--so you can paint any picture. It's your personality--you're in control. You're molding kind, positive character traits.  You have infinite possibilities to work with.

"Life isn't about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself."                                                                                                  --author unknown

And as you look in that mirror, say to yourself: I love you. So many people cannot do this. Why, I don't know. Sadly, there are many people who are in therapy for months, even years, learning how to love themselves. These are the people with low self esteem. Even more distressing, there are those with no self esteem at all.

Physical exercise is another way to help you love who you are. After consistently following an exercise program you will feel better, more energetic. And you'll begin to look better, too. Some people will notice that you're more relaxed, happier and more confident. But even if they don't, it doesn't matter. This is for you. And that's what this is all about--you, loving who you are. 

You have a special purpose only YOU can fulfill .

Copyright © Morna Douglas. All rights reserved